Rainy daze, bro.

I know it's raining, and rain in Miami tends to equate to soul-killing sadness, but try and get out tonight and enjoy the humid air. Vagabond will be worth checking out.

Mayer Christmas, bro

Flavorwire, posted a list of 100 Gifts for 100 Cultural Icons, which you may have already seen. They're not all relevant, nor universally interesting, but there are a few cute things on there.

I had to post what these editors thought would be a good holiday gift for J. Money Mayer: mixed race chicks (they just wrote, "chicks," but just look at those babies, I could just eat them).

Are two wheels better than four?

Last night, I went by the Bike Film Festival at the Colony Theater. I caught the 9:00 show, which involved a bunch of shorts, many of which mostly bored me and others that were incredibly enjoyable.

A couple of the films were identified by myself and my friend Ivan as "bike porn." This would define oddly and sexily edited shots of people riding bikes around major cities. Other films showed races with cyclists navigating their way through moving, oncoming traffic, sort of like Frogger with human flesh involved.

Although I have trouble sitting still for hours, one of the longest films tickled me pink. "The Scraper Bike King" was about these kids living in the ghettos of Oakland that hook their bikes up to look like candy brands and place colored material on their wheels. First of all, the kids are awesome and hilarious. The Scraper Bike King is like 20 years old and thinking super big (bro). He mentioned the eco-friendly nature of biking (thinking globally) and also expressed hope that they might receive sponsorships, hence the logos on their bikes. So entrepreneurial! There was a funny scene where they start talking Obama. The bikes look adorable and I was almost inspired enough to come home and put some foil on my bike. You must see this movie.

Check this out.

I'm having trouble finding their shirts on the Web. I thought it might be the awesomest X-mas gift ever (Jimmy, you're getting one if I ever find them on here).

All in all, if you weren't there, you missed a neat night out.

Bro, I got a press pass, bro

The Convention Center - Art Basel 2009

At Deitch Projects, they enjoy black icons.

My friend Venessa spotted a live ladybug on a David Hockney, one of the few paintings I saw that I'd want to hang on my wall at home. This is one of many ladybugs that have appeared in my path recently. I hope they being me some good luck because Lord knows I need it.

This was a neat installation where you were looking in on a warm cabin on one side and out into the cold on the other. Fairgoer favorite.

Fountain Art Fair was grassrootsy. There was a really neat, raised sauna where drunk young people sweat out all their beer. One saunite even ended up puking and passed out, locked in the bathroom. Don't ever drink in the sauna. Ever.

Chairlift performed at Fountain. The lead singer spent about a full hour doing a bizarre and loud sound check, replete with "whooo"s and "haaa"s and complaints about everything from feedback to speaker volume. Then, during the performance, the sound went out.

Scoping out sh-t, bro

All over the place, people were making public art murals. I believe it was on the official Basel agenda. This is Os Gemeos.

I thought Scope had the best art for your buck, though I didn't make it to every festival, so, what the hell do I know? Above was an animation of a scene from The Exorcist. It was very funny. There's cartoon Linda Blair spitting in the priest's eye.

After Scope, I can't even remember what we did, but my best friend was in from London and we hit up the Bruce Weber signing at the Standard. Bruce is such a cuddly looking bear. Marc Jacobs was present with his bf. My gay card was revoked because I didn't recognize MJ. Otherwise, I did peep a ton of cute, male models.

After the signing and dinner at the Standard, Miami Beach seemed a royal-pain-in-the-ass-clusterfuck of invite-only, private parties that looked less than fab in my uninvited mind. We went by the Raleigh and as we were sipping on overpriced drinks, a crew of people ran by us down to the sand; we followed. Apparently, artist Terence Koh led the procession, and James Franco and Kalup Linzy were in the crowd of probably 60 people. Details are on the NYTimes blog.

After the festivities, we hit up the Deuce which was incredibly packed with what appeared to be New Yorkers. Note for next year - Basel loves the Deuce.

I spy James Franco?

It's stages, bro

Probably the best party this Basel was Stages which took place on Biscayne and 8th Street, an address I had to arrive at before I could even imagine where it was located. But what a great space it was! The party was hosted by a slew of people, but specifically the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Stages is a reference to the stages of cancer, which Armstrong had and overcame. Then then he dumped his wife when she had it.

The artwork was top of the line - here's a link with more details.

That's me in front of a Richard Prince.

Shepard Fairey djed and free drinks and snacks abounded. The reason I was psyched to go was Bradford Cox from Deerhunter was performing as Atlas Sound. He is amazing. I was just so into it. I know it's not party music, but he's so talented.

When I went up to ask for a picture, he said to me, "I just met you 2 seconds ago, but I know I like you." Eat that, Matt Damon. What a sweetheart!

There's Laney, himself.

Here's my little blogger section:

There's Superbee and below I saw Rydel from Miami Bike Scene standing behind an arty, party bike, so I had to take a pic since it seemed appropriate.

No, Nothing, NADA

The pickles were my favorite thing at NADA. Pickles, mmmmm.

This is on my X-mas list, boys. Keep it in mind.

2020 Gallery representing Miami

If you know me, you know the saying I live by is, "Taco Bell, you are my boyfriend."

These were amazing. They're done by Luke Butler who paints scenes from Star Trek when bad shit's happening. I thought they were funny, but apparently, they're supposed to be kind of sad.

This was my second favorite.

Going all around, bro

My best friend flew in from London and, of course, his flight was delayed. By the time we reached the beach, we had missed the Vernissage (this is like my third time I've attempted to attend and did not make it).

The Art Center had a really great opening, packed with people and the work was mostly influenced by street and graffiti art. It's still up, go check it out.

There were no containers this year, which wasn't entirely surprising because last year kind of sucked. They did have free bbq, expensive drinks and this huge installation which was relatively boring, but neat enough as it looked like a strange, glowing village.

The Bass was happening, and although this exhibition went up about a month back, it's a goody!

As usual, we went by the Raleigh for the private Deitch party, but this is the first year I didn't bother sneaking past the bouncer to get to the tables. I think this was probably because there were half as many tables as last year and the people actually stayed at them throughout the concert. Usually they leave and we can sit at their tables and drink their leftovers. Proof of a sour economy, I suppose. Santigold performed and I thought it was a visually interesting experience. It was a little bit of a snooze only because we were sober and it was the hottest most humid night I've had in Miami, maybe ever. She had these two synchronized dancers in MC Hammer garb that stopped for extended periods and then started dancing again at the same time without looking at each other.

In order to end the night, we hit up PS14, which had been "transformed" into Max Fish, the LES bar. I thought it looked really good inside, a lot like Max Fish, but we went the next night too, and it was packed, slow and there was no dancing. They had laid back musical acts inside, and no music at all out back, except what was blaring over the wall from Vagabond. Either way, it was a good place to run into friends.

These people started with their fire throwing and everyone expressed a fear of getting burnt. But, of course, I wasn't scared, even when the flames from the baton landed at my foot. I didn't tip them because they almost seared me. They understood.

Basel, bro: day 1

Since this is essentially a journal for me, I have taken my sweet time to put up my Basel pictures and such. I also finally started a full-time job (yay!), so I had to focus on waking up early this week, which means going to bed before the time of my peak productivity.

I had a fun, but not insane, Art Basel this year and I would say that I saw more art last week than any one person should experience in about five years. Tuesday was sort of the busiest night. I started at Art Miami where they were handing out cotton candy (above), which is all the craze these days, but I can't have more than a few licks. I ended up in the Design District most of the night. At Exhibit 101, they had a hallway made of some sort of tarp and video work tucked into corners of the material. A photo shoot was taking place where the ladies were clothed in suits that looked like naked ladies' bodies. I don't have much to say about that, except the pictures turned out pretty nice despite the trite concept, and there was free Grey Goose with organic Arizona iced tea. Not a tasty combo.

The Moore Space was transformed into some sort of high end boutique which featured a Fendi bike and this furry Fendi guitar. I didn't leave coveting anything, but I did leave with quite a buzz. There were a few cute waiters who provided endless, full wine glasses of champagne.

We wandered about and went to the Friends With You store which was in the Buena Vista Building. I hope it stays open in that space. We wandered across the street to check out the David LaChapelle opening. Forgettable.

The Perrotin Gallery, which had been rumored to have closed, was open and, once again, in full-fun effect. Packed with Frenchies and locals, this is such a Basel highlight. Last year I tried to hook Pharell up with some friends, but this year, I left him be. We danced, we spilt red wine on my Opening Ceremony shirt (thanks Dylan!) and then we chatted and danced again.

After all of that madness, it was clear I was not driving home. We did manage to make it to Churchill's where we saw Kreamy 'Lectric Santa perform. Back in town after years away, now currently settled in San Francisco, this classic Miami, rock band really made everyone feel good. I have to say, what a great time and a wonderful set. It was Churchill's at it's finest.

Bro, Basel is Craaaaazzzzy, Bro

The madness returns.

It's the first week in December and Miami will again be the coolest city in the world for the next few days, all thanks to Art Basel Miami Beach. The mere thought makes me sigh with excitement and also makes me nail bite at the prospect of that much art and Grolsch in one city. Sigh.

I can't tell you what to do for Art Basel, because I don't necessarily know you. However, I can post a few things that I've found that sound like fun to me. Interview Magazine has some good suggestions, too.

Tuesday night will be the big night for locals. Most out-of-towners don't show up until Wednesday, so enjoy this day of private and public events with friends. There's the MOCA opening, which is aligned with Vanity Fair. The after party is at the Gansevoort. The Friends With You party takes place Tuesday from 6-10pm at 3930 NE 2nd Ave, Suite 202. Make sure to end your night at Churchill's where many Miami legends will pump out some worthy music, including such performers as Kreamy 'Lectric Santa and Dino Felipe.

OHWOW will have a busy year, hosting many of what sound like the best Basel shows and parties. First of all, on Tuesday, they're opening up a Max Fish (a quaint LES bar where Team Tracy has kicked ass at pool) at the former PS14 (RIP) space. Neat, I think! It'll be open till 4am each night and the line up looks like this: Wed -IUD, Silkflowers, Animals of the Arctic; Thurs - Barr, Mike Bones, Wilder Zoby (Chin Chin), Jaccuzzi Boys; Fri - Gang Gang Dance, Endless Boogie, Teepee; Sat - ?.

At the traditional OHWOW space, Dark Night of the Soul is a collaboration between Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse with visuals by David Lynch. Most awesomely though, Atlas Sound will be performing Thursday at Stages, an event that will raise funds for Lance Armstrong's foundation. It'll be at 888 Biscayne. This is so freaking awesome, I peed a little when I heard. Last year we got Panda Bear and now Atlas sound. Check out the song they made together and love it all the way: Walkabout.

I think this is all I have the energy for right now. Remember, you cannot see or do everything, so ask your friends where they have work up and check it the fuck out.

Miami, Bro Loves Borscht

Under the indoor twinkling stars of the Gusman Center in Downtown Miami, the Borscht Film Festival managed to do the almost impossible. A full theater sat waiting over an hour to watch two and a half hours of homemade, independent films. Although the crowd was restless in waiting for the films to begin, they all managed to hang in there and suck down numerous $5 rum and Jupinas. In typical grassroots style, the projector at the Gusman wasn't working. As another projector was rushed downtown, musical acts and comedians, both from the audience and what appeared to be preplanned performances, entertained. Luckily, it sufficed for people like me, compulsively late and then inappropriately impatient, people who, surprisingly, arrived on time for the first times in their lives.

There were so many little things about this event that just radiated love for Miami. Although most of us grow up wishing we were somewhere else, we are still truly dedicated to this sometimes lame, mostly strange, very non-traditional American city. Our humor and perspective is so unique. Miamians are easily amused; we love to laugh. Each film made a nod to our hometown in a way we, the audience, could appreciate, and Miami, bro loved it.

The screening began with independently produced shorts chosen from community submissions. The video for Miami's own thoughtful but danceable group, Afrobeta's "Land of Lost Lovers," was sexy and cute. I thought the most notable of these films was Oda a la Pina, which takes place in Cuba, was in Spanish without subtitles and features a woman dressed as a pineapple. Even with the language barrier, it was a beautiful, poetic tale, conveyed visually with humor and compassion. Another well done short, Waking Olguita, takes place in Puerto Rico and features a slutty but nice exchange student who lightens up the life of her old lady, host mother.

Nothing pleased me more than the shot of the street on which I live in The Rise of Panic Bomber. This short fully grabbed the attention and laughter of the audience through humorous quips and shots of the downtown areas we live in and know so well. It was the creation of Andrew Hevia, who is one of the festival's main organizers and whom I've known since he was wee lad. I was also tickled when I saw one of my high school english teachers, Sandra (Doc) Riley in the slow but important documentary on the Miami Circle.

This year the Borscht received funding from the Miami World Cinema Center and the Downtown Development Authority to commission five feature films. I would say my favorites included Velvet, which, although it was shot in the Design District, could be shown anywhere and enjoyed by any audience. The biggest crowd pleaser and the feature that most closely reflected my experience of growing up, was an animated short, "Xemoland," which took place in Key Biscayne. I know must of us didn't grow up as Key rats, but the little details brought me back to my youth. For instance, the OP logo on the main character's shirt, the Goo poster on his brother's wall, the nuclear holocaust image from T2 and most importantly, Riviera Cinema. I worked at Riviera for 2 years in high school and I happened to be sitting next to one of my oldest friends who worked there with me, so, if you heard someone shout out for Rivera, that was me.

If you've grown up in Miami, part of you never leaves. Maybe you're always late, or you're a shitty driver, but you're probably also the best dancer at whatever white-bred party you're at, and definitely, you know how to have a good time and laugh even when a hurricane blows through town. The Borscht Film Festival highlighted all those regional quirks we hold dear and which sometimes hold us hostage. I hope they maintain all the community support for next year and at least double their funding. If you helped out with this event, Miami, bro wants to say to you, bravo and que bueno!

Here is what I wrote pre-fest.

Here's my roomie, Jessica Gross, doing some off the cuff ass kicking comedy.

I didn't take many pics, but aren't Dylan and Kizzy's sweaters adorable? I barked at them to pose, hence Kizzy's face of horror.

These 2 are from the Oolite Visual Arts Showcase.

Borscht, bro

Just wanted to post this before I forget. The Borscht film fest showcases local, talented filmmakers. I'll be writing more later, but I just wanted to remind y'all. It's free and well funded this year, thanks to my friend Amanda.

Here's my writeup on the Oolite Visual Arts Showcase taking place before, during and after the film fest.